Our relationships profoundly shape us. As teachers, we often underestimate the power our own messages have on our students long after they’ve left our studios and, dare I say, long after they can still play the pieces we taught them.

Like a cup of chicken soup on a chilly day, ‘The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse’ by Charlie Mackesy is a book I love to pick up and savour. At its essence, it’s a story of a journey of four unlikely friends, and a glimpse into the window of the heart of relationships. 

This book is important because it reminds us that the art of teaching music is much more than the impartation of skills and knowledge. As teachers, we convey to our students a sense of identity in how they relate to music and themselves.

A Journey Into the Heart of Teaching

In his introduction to ‘The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse’, Mackesy describes it best:

“This book is for everyone, whether you are eighty or eight – I feel like I am both sometimes… The boy is lonely when the mole first surfaces. They spend time together gazing into the wild. I think the wild is a bit like life – frightening sometimes but beautiful. …I hope this book encourages you, perhaps, to live courageously with more kindness for yourself and for others. And to ask for help when you need it – which is always a brave thing to do.”

There are 6 lessons I learnt about being a teacher and mentor from conversations between the boy and the mole.

Lesson 1: Nurturing a Sense of Intrinsic Value

“I’m so small,” said the mole.
“Yes,” said the boy, “but you make a huge difference.”

Do our students know that they have intrinsic value, regardless of their skill or practice level on any given day? 

Honestly, it’s not easy to live this out amidst a product-driven society. How do we regularly remember and convey this truth – that the person matters more than the product – even on a bad practice week, month or – even worse – year? 

More importantly, do we remember this for ourselves, that our presence (being emotionally present) in our lessons makes a huge difference; that our value as a teacher is NOT solely about producing prodigious playing skill (good and valuable as it may be)?

Which leads us to the next conversation…

Lesson 2: The True Nature of Success

“What do you think success is?” asked the boy.
“To love,” said the mole.

How do we define success as music studio teachers? Is it exam results? Progress? Awards? Students that go on to a career in music?

As I write this, I’m also preaching to myself. This has been my own growth journey for the past decade: re-evaluating what really matters in the journey of music study.

Some of the questions I ask myself: 

• How does music make us more fully human? 
• Do the performance skills connect us to our humanity, or is it the ability to be more aware and present to emotions in ourselves and others?
• What does it look like to connect to our emotions and process them through music – to become more fully human through music?

An essential aspect of being human really is our ability to be aware of and experience the full range of human emotions. Therefore, the act of experiencing and identifying emotion with music humanises us in a way that few other things can.

The challenge is that I first have to learn (and am still learning!) how to be more emotionally present and less focussed on my “to-do” list.

I now make a conscious effort to fully pay attention to how my student is feeling at any given moment (warning: This takes time!), and then I take further time to pause and explore with them the emotions and imagery communicated by the sound of the music before tackling the “how to” aspects of the lesson.

The paradoxical discovery I made: Slowing down and taking time to explore and discover emotional connections between my students and their music usually results in more effective practice, increased motivation and greater conviction in performance. This “slow cooker” approach starts with embracing the humanity of our students.

Lesson 3: Cultivating a Growth Mindset

“Do you have a favourite saying?” asked the boy.
“Yes,” said the mole.
“What is it?”
“If at first you don’t succeed, have some cake.”
“I see, does it work?”
“Every time.”

I love this seemingly crazy, tongue-in-cheek response! It makes me think of the journey of practice, failing to practise and trial-and-error in music study and performance. 

Is it possible to look at challenges or failures as an opportunity for “cake”? 

In other words, do we allow for facetious fun in our own teaching-learning approach? Can we cultivate a creative, “no guilt” growth-mindset culture, whether or not we see immediate results? Is that OK to do as “serious musicians”? 

For myself, I find it’s sometimes too easy to allow all the knowledge and training to trick me into sweating the small stuff. After all, as teachers we deal with human “be-ings” – ourselves and our students – not human “do-ings.”

Pro tip from Colourful Keys: Try brainstorming ways to create that “no guilt” growth-mindset culture with your local music teacher association. Not part of a network, or don’t have an association in your area? Start your own group in a snap with this Music Teacher Group Pack. Enter your info below and the team will send a copy straight to your inbox.

Vibrant Music Teaching members can download the pack from the VMT Library. Not a member? Learn more and join today at vibrantmusicteaching.com.

Lesson 4: The Comparison Trap

“What do you think is the biggest waste of time?”
“Comparing yourself to others,” said the mole.

I included this lesson because comparison can truly be such a nemesis. It’s the enemy of the teen years, robbing us of peace of mind and a healthy sense of identity.

I believe we give a gift to others when we pursue a healthy mindset for ourselves first. Our students will tend to absorb and reflect the values we model.

What do I mean by a healthy mindset for ourselves?

As teachers, it’s easy to compare ourselves to other teachers, or to slide into the trap of feeling like our students’ accomplishments (or lack thereof) reflect on our own personal identity and worth as musicians and educators.

When we do this, we sadly miss the chance to focus on our students’ needs and true growth opportunities for ourselves and our students.

If you like this article, you can find more professional development resources at the Colourful Keys hub page devoted to Your Music Studio Business.

Lesson 5: Teaching With Humility and a Sense of Possibility

“I wonder if there is a school of unlearning.” [boy]

Boy (no pun intended!) this really hits home! Are there things we need to unlearn as musicians and teachers? How do we approach “unlearning” for ourselves? 

The good news is that we can learn both alongside and from our students. The beauty in the journey with music is that there’s ALWAYS hope for growth. The goal is growth, not guilting ourselves into change!

“Most of the old moles I know wish they had listened less to their fears and more to their dreams.” [mole]

What influences us more as teachers: our dreams or our fears? Do we teach from a framework of fear, or from a framework of possibilities? How were we taught by our own teachers?

These are all questions I’ve asked myself, and continue to ask myself. I find that reminding myself of what matters most helps me to be more present and relevant for my students and for myself.

In addition, identifying what I’ve inherited – the healthy and the less healthy – allows me to be intentional about what I want to consciously retain and pass on, as well as what I can choose to discard.

And finally…

Lesson 6: Celebrate the Little Things

“I’ve learned how to be in the present.”
“How?” asked the boy.
“I find a quiet spot and shut my eyes and breathe.”
“That’s good, and then?”
“Then I focus.”
“What do you focus on?”
“Cake,” said the mole.

Let’s cultivate a culture of celebration for ourselves and our students.

If we can celebrate the little things, it will give us the framework to continue approaching the pursuit of music – and its beauty – with an attitude of curiosity and joy.

Which of these 6 lessons resonates with you the most?

Tell us about it in the comments.