When is it time to let a piano student go?

Is it time for a student to leave your studio? Every teacher wrestles with this question at some point, sometimes even more than once in a year with the same student.

There are times when we’d really like a reluctant student to continue lessons because we have a positive relationship with them. We love seeing their musical growth.

But then there are those trickier students (or parents) who we dread seeing each week. They can be difficult to teach and we’d probably be happier if they weren’t in our studio.

How do you know when to work hard to retain a piano student, and when it’s better just to let them go?

Consider some of these common situations and how I’ve handled each one.

Situation No. 1: Injury Derailment

I once had a highly motivated teen student who had trouble getting back into the groove after an injury. Even after they recovered, they still didn’t practise at home and didn’t seem interested in continuing lessons. Their parents let me know they were thinking of letting them quit.

My Response: Focus on What Works

Spoiler alert: This student didn’t quit. Instead, we discussed where they were with practice and motivation. That’s when I realised how deeply the injury affected all of their activities.

Before the injury, they were on a classical music track (level 7 RCM). Now, though, they were no longer motivated by those pieces. Instead of forcing the issue, we decided to focus solely on holiday music that season to give them a bit of a break.

Once the holidays were over, I pulled out my 20th Century collections. They were soon happily working on a cool piece by Pam Wedgewood, a song from a movie soundtrack and a beautiful Gillock prelude.

Lesson to Remember: Be Patient

Sometimes a student just needs more time to deal with whatever is going on in their lives that happens to be affecting their current practice schedule. We may choose to “put up with” the student who really doesn’t practise very much because we value the relationship that we have built with that student.

Analysing why the student isn’t doing well or why we’re impatient with them can be helpful in determining where the problem is, and how to help.

And then, sometimes, we just need to be patient and get through a sticky season instead of reacting impatiently to the problem that’s occurring right at this time. 

We often talk about how musical studies are a long-term project; keeping that same long-term perspective when there are bumps along the road is important.

Situation No. 2: Adults Losing Momentum

A beginner adult student who had been with me for almost three years was having a hard time fitting in practice and seemed unmotivated. I noticed they’d come to lessons apologising more often than not for not practising before I even said hello. And when playing, they just didn’t seem engaged with the music.

Given this, I wasn’t surprised when they told me they’d like to take a break for a few months as they had a lot going on at work and needed the money to save for a big trip. 

My Response: Empathise and Let Go

Once I assured them I understood – because we all have different seasons of life – they were visibly relieved and we had a great final lesson. (But hopefully it’s only the last lesson for now!)

Lesson to Remember: Be Kind

It’s really important to be kind in our relationships with students and parents. We don’t know the entirety of what is going on in their home or what other pressures may be bearing upon that family or that adult student.

As a teacher, I strive to be kind all the time but it’s especially important at times of potential disagreement.

🚫 Being kind doesn’t mean you won’t consider your studio policy.

🚫 Being kind doesn’t mean there isn’t a time when you should let a piano student go on to another teacher or activity.

✅ Being kind does mean that in both good times and bad, you will maintain a positive attitude towards the piano student and genuinely wish them the best – whether you choose to let them continue in your studio or let them go elsewhere.

For more lessons on running your studio, check out our hub page entirely devoted to business issues for music studios.

Situation No. 3: The Early Not-So-Sweet-Spot

I once had a five-year-old newbie who hadn’t been progressing much at all, even after 3 months of lessons. Interacting with them was difficult and, although they’re quite musical, lessons were hard and they never hit the “sweet spot” of learning so that piano is fun and practice is enjoyable.

My Response: Honesty Is the Best Policy

My initial strategy was to reach out to the parent to give some suggestions about how to approach lessons and home practice in a more positive manner.

In lessons, I kindly but firmly enforced the boundaries for the student’s behaviour while attempting to make lessons fun and engaging. 

After the child missed two lessons due to illness, the parent emailed to say they had decided to not continue for the year.

I was relieved. 😌

In my email response, I acknowledged the musicality of the child and encouraged them to look for another teacher when they were ready to resume lessons as I didn’t feel like I was the best fit.

Lesson to Remember: Communicate Early and Often

Some parents are very good at identifying problems and reaching out, while others aren’t. In that case, as the teacher, I need to communicate with the parent to get their feedback – preferably before difficult situations arise.

Need help keeping parents informed of progress (or lack thereof)? The template below gives you a way to keep these updates structured and regular, rather than waiting for problems to arise. Just enter your info and we’ll send you a copy for free.

Members of Vibrant Music Teaching can copy the parent progress report template in the VMT Library. Not a member? What are you waiting for?? Visit vibrantmusicteaching.com to learn more and join today.

My spidey sense will often tell me that a problem is coming, even weeks before, but I don’t have enough information to know what the problem is. If I don’t dig into it, though, it just drags on and hovers over my head…

Then when we finally have that conversation and everything is brought out into the open, things start to make sense. That’s when we can look for a solution together.

Pro tip: Text messages can be very easily misunderstood, so it’s probably best to not communicate about a difficult situation that way. A face-to-face conversation is ideal, but that’s sometimes difficult to do if the child is within earshot. A phone call often works best so that the parents can talk freely without the child around.

Situation No. 4: Tweens Who Don’t Practise

Tell me if this sounds familiar: A tween student who used to put effort into practising has gotten into middle school and hardly touches the piano between lessons anymore. Their parents would like them to keep going, even though you’ve just completed a full year of lessons with minimal effort on the student’s part.

My Response: End on a High Note

When a tween student seemed to be losing interest, I tried many different approaches to practising and music lessons in general. After consulting with the parents after the first year, and learning they wanted their child to keep studying piano, we tried a different approach to musical styles which my student did seem to enjoy. 

But by the middle of the second year in middle school, I realised they were still lacking motivation and interest.

I had a candid conversation with the parent where we decided it was time to let this piano student go. 

However, I encouraged the student to finish the year well with an informal “recital exam” so there was a positive end to their musical studies.

Lesson to Remember: Go Ahead and Rock That Boat

I often find it difficult to be fully honest and straightforward with a student or parent. Maybe it’s because I’m from Canada and we tend to want to be more polite, not wanting to rock the boat.

My tendency is to push off that difficult conversation until it’s really dire. But sometimes it’s possible to be too patient.

Letting a tough situation drag on can be detrimental to the student’s progress. 

I’ve found that if I’m honest with a parent or student about a situation after I’ve been patiently observing for a few weeks, often the parent is already aware of the problem and is quite open to talking about it.

In fact, they may have already thought about possible solutions. 

I also need to be honest about administrative problems, especially when what is happening is in direct contradiction to my studio policy. So instead of just complaining to my husband, it’s better to address the situation head-on and work to find a solution together.

Being honest involves both kindness and patience while also keeping relationships with our studio families authentic.

Reflection

It can take some wisdom and personal reflection to figure out the best way to respond to various situations within our teaching studio: Do we keep working at it, or is it time to let that piano student go?

How do you decide whether to let a piano student go?

Share your thoughts in the comments below. 🙂